BS Banner Top

Priceless Root defintion of a redneck Am I a redneck? Redneck Speak Redneck Videos BS Home Priceless Root Creative Rednecks defintion of a redneck speshul rednecks Rednecks Home Priceless Root also known as

Top High School Essay List

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at
high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse, without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because
of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a
formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

      Titanic: $29.99
     
Clinton: $29.99

      Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
     
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

      Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
     
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

      Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
     
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

      Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
     
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

      Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
     
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

      Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
      Clinton: Let's not go there.
     

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
     
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

      Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
     
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

      Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
     
Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

      Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
     
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.

More Top 10 Lists
Blacks Won't Admit Top 10 White's Won't Admit Top 10
Hispanics Don't Know Top 10 Top 10 Wonders

BS News
Fried Rat
Barnyard Astrology
Priceless Pictures
Priceless Pictures 2
Priceless Pictures 3
Redneck Astrology
Redneck Engineer
Redneck Women

Funny Pictures
Funny Pictures 2
Funny Pictures 3
Funny Pictures 4
Funny Signs
Jerry Springer
Not so Golden
Politics
White Bread

Creativity
Culture
Defined
Diction
Forward Speshul
Tech
Tribute
WD40

Boys will be Boys! White Trash

Top Ten, Funny Pictures, Funny Videos, BS News

SiteMap gallery Support Our Troops  Redneck Politics

Check out our links page & Vote for this site! Redneck Fun List

These World Wide Web pages are provided as a public service and are intended as entertainment only. The information and materials presented on these pages is considered public information and may be distributed or copied. Use of appropriate byline/photo/image credits is requested. content on this domain does not express the views of whipnet or it's entities.

Po<table width=

©bsornot.whipnet.net 2005-2016
Translate Übersetzen Traduca